so, it's been a few days since uploading "stupid fragile girlthing makes a mess of everything," but, yay! i finished my first visual novel! yay! idk what you write in these bc obviously i've never written one before! exciting! yelling! um, anyways,

the game has been out for a few days. how are we feeling?

i'm pretty happy with "stupid fragile girlthing" as it is - i don't expect to update it any time soon. i know that there's things i *could* change or add. it wouldn't hurt to draw more expressions to better match some scenes. the default renpy ui looks just fine, but it'd be cool to have something in there that's more personalized. an epilogue scene might be nice. i do like the note i ended on. but, yeah, very pleased overall with what this game ended up being. i'll leave it for now and keep these things in mind for future projects.

i *am*, however, still **very** scared of anyone i know reading what i've written! it's scary! it's embarrassing! don't look at me! there's a reason i don't share a lot of what i write! i contemplated not sharing this story even after spending a month+ putting it all together, lol. responses have all been really good so far, thankfully. it's still scary, but every time i survive this i become stronger, so i'm going to keep at it. you are enabling me. i hope you're proud of yourself. (thank you! :sob:)

did we learn anything?

yes!

• making a visual novel is fun!
• i really can make a visual novel! *you* can make a visual novel!
• "let it be bad as long as it's sincere" and lots of other tips that will live in my head for ever
• you can make backgrounds for your vns by taking photos and fucking up the colors to make them look gross. this is very fun. i can just do this for fun it doesn't even have to be for making a thing.
• more concrete stuff like:
• animating sprites with transforms
• organizing layers to draw sprites more easily
• the power of webp
• maybe think of a way to not accidentally make a game longer than you intended (we still work on this one)
• omg i'm so glad to see comments and feedback i feel unbeatable i'm so happy thank you <3

what's next?

i have another project that began life as a notepad file i used to vent. i started writing it about a month before toxic yuri vn jam started. it was basically just a way for me to pass the time when it's hard to sleep until it mutated into an actual story that i want to finish and share. it's weirder and more ambitious as a story than anything else i've written. more fucked up fetish shit, too. yay~

i won't share any excerpts, but i will let loose that it's inspired by (non-exhaustive): "malcatras' maiden", "it gets so lonely here", "love & dehumanization", gundam fanfic "the girl from titan," umineko, 闇の声, and "the murderer and her runaway desire." to name a few.

i'm really pleased with the direction it's going, and i can't wait to share it some day. after participating in toxic yuri vn jam i feel confident that i can actually finish it. i hope you'll look forward to it. there might be some familiar names and faces (:

ty for reading <3 - bèa